Month: June 2024

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 
Ephesians 5:25-27

This call to husbands carries so much gravity. It does this because the likeness Paul uses to explain how we love our wives but mirroring that of Jesus and His bride, the church. Christ died for the eternal salvation of the church, even in the place each individual person was in their sin. That love is not a conditional love, and neither should ours be a conditional love of our wives.

Like wives are called to submit in the same way husbands are called to lead. That first leadership position is in modeling the continuous persistent desire and behavior of fellowshipping with our Lord and Savior through daily bible study, prayer, and leading the family in the nurturing of the fruits of the Spirit in our behavior and upbringing of our children.

Going back to Paul’s comparison of the type of love we should have for our wives, he moves on to giving examples of Christ’s salvation, care, and services He gives His bride, the church. This whole passage is about a type of love that initially drove Him to the cross, but also a ministry to the church to prepare it to see the face of the Heavenly Father one day.

Application:

When I think about my service to and care for Marianne, I know that I fall short in this in many ways. It is in times just like this that the Lord will kick me into gear. My love for Marianne is without question but my follow-though needs a lot of work. One picture that I keep in my head that helps with this, is the thought that I get to prepare Marianne to one day see the face of her true King, the Lord Jesus Christ. I picture myself there watching as she is called before the Lord and He looks at her, I can see her face transfixed on His as He says, “Well done Marianne, My good and faithful servant.”. How proud of moment what will be for me as her loving husband. So, the question I ask myself is, what I am I doing to prepare Marianne for that moment?

Today’s Psalm:

Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.
Psalms 43:3-4

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 
Ephesians 5:23-24

The role of the husband involves head­ship. This headship is to be a mirror in how Christ serves as head and Savior. Christ has the authority but He uses it to save, sacrifice, and serve. Again, power and rank are present, but they are in the context and configured on how that power is used and applied, not just mentioned in isolation. This is an example for the husbands role as head by the way Jesus cares for the church and honors her as His bride. Paul’s entire point about this headship is captured by service, nurturing, and care. Obedience is not something for the husband to demand. In the husband’s love for his wife, he is to show concern for the needs and wellbeing of his wife.

Showing concern for the needs and wellbeing of my wife does not assume or assert that she is any less capable than me…on the contrary, she in fact ‘completes’ ME. I am so much less without her. This instruction from God’s Word only has benefit, never detriment. Meaning, my wife’s call to submission should only result in a benefit to her. Woe to me if I were to ever use this passage as way to control my wife (sinful). Especially if that were in the act of decision making that would encourage my wife to submit to something sinful. The thought of this actually makes me recoil.

Application:

I must tread carefully in fear of God in the role He has placed in my marriage as husband and father. My nose better be buried in God’s Word looking for His light to direct the paths of our family. This call to wives should be super convicting and humbling to us husbands, not the other way around. The gravity I feel for the care and well-being of Marianne should totally usurp my needs…as we will read in the following verses.

Today’s Psalm:

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalms 42:8

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 
Ephesians 5:22 [ESV]

I’ll be getting to this more over the next several days but the fact that Paul uses ‘husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church” so many times in the following verses, makes this so much less about wives as it does about husbands. This passage raises the hackles of a lot of people and honestly it did mine as well until I took a hermeneutical approach to the meaning across all of scripture.

The submission is limited to the husband and is not to all men (your own husbands). The comparison is that just as a woman submits herself to the Lord, so also in her marriage. Her submission to the Lord is used as an analogy, with the recognition that the husband and Christ are not the same but are related to each other in how the home is run. The idea is ‘just as you did it for them, you did it for me’.

And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Matthew 25:40 [ESV]

Christ is my wife’s ultimate authority, and it is He who is calling for this kind of ordering in the home. The exhortation to Marianne focuses on being supportive, as the term ‘respect’ is used in verse 33 as the idea here. The point Paul is making is that the wife chooses to respond in this way. There is no suggestion that the wife is being forced to submit. That also fits the exhortation of first verse, where mutual submission is a response to an exhortation to be submissive. The wife is to respect the husband’s role and support it, as the husband is sensitive to his wife. This is not an endorsement of the patriarchy that surrounded them in the biblical time culture; the call for husbands to have concern for their wives was missing in the larger culture.

It is also significant that what Paul focuses on here is not the rights a person has in the marriage but on his or her responsibility to the other person. The exhortations are ultimately focused outwards. They are not to be read or applied selfishly, but selflessly. The wife is not told to ‘obey’ her husband, as is the case with children and slaves in the next listings. This might be significant. It seems to indicate a place for give-and-take discussion in marriage when a decision is reached. She chooses to be respectful as a way to bring stability to the home.

The assumption of the passage as a whole is that the husband also is sensitive, though it does not qualify the wife’s response as being dependent on the husband’s sensitivity. There is a balance in this passage that provides for the stability being desired. The love and care required of the husband, who in the Graeco-Roman culture would have been seen to have absolute power, shows the effort to convey a balance in the relationship. Marriage works best when sensitivity works in both directions, as the husband leads with a caring, nurturing love and the wife responds with submission. In other words, the submission–love combination is not to be seen in terms of power or rank, as it often is portrayed, but as a form of cooperation in reaching for a shared goal. Even children are to see their parents as a team sharing honor.

Application:

What all of this means practically is that couples have an array of options as to how they design their unique relationship, given how the husband is to be sensitive towards his wife and the wife supportive of her husband – principles that allow for a couple to work out its dynamics in a mutually agreed way in which love and submission work together. For Marianne and I this works in a way that is beautiful. The main point is that the times where we have been in a position where I have made a decision that Marianne submits can be counted on one hand in the 25 years we have been married. We share all decisions and there has never ever been a time where God has called only one of us to a position in ministry or leading of a direction in our Christian lives…these times where I have taken a decision is strictly limited to home dynamics were there was no clear winning direction. Marianne has, in those times, submitted to a direction I have chosen under humble and sober ownership of the household of our family bathed with prayer the weight that I will answer to the Lord for that decision.

Today’s Psalm:

These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
a multitude keeping festival.
Psalms 42:4 [ESV]

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:18-21

I have soooo many posts to update! As I posted yesterday, the workload up until yesterday has been overwhelming. Not only for me but for my family. After I arrived in Orange County last night, hugged my family, got to the hotel, and put the Littles in bed, Marianne and I were able to connect in a really good way for the first time…in weeks really. I realized that although my family has been standing in the gap, Marianne has been worn down with all of the management of the rest of the goings-on of our lives. I was able to get a glimpse of how hard it has been on her. Although I am so much further ahead in my reading, I am going to complete my posts on all the QTs I have not been able to post. I will get all of my posts in but I will only be sending emails on just one per day…so, if you want to see the others, you may need to go back to the main blog page list to see missed posts.

My last piece of this passage of Ephesians 5:18-21, ends with “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”. This is so applicable to me today even though it was weeks back. This conversation with Marianne was a moment I was able to let my own needs take a back seat while I listened to Marianne pour out her heart. It became clear to me that even though she was surviving, she has not been thriving.

It is so appropriate that Paul ends with this exhortation before he moves into the passages on wives and husbands, children, and slaves and masters. Without a submission to one another and a respect for God, these relationships can break down into selfishness that has the potential of bringing dysfunction. The key issue in this verse is where it fits. Does it finish with the context of the exhortation about being filled with the Spirit, or does it belong as the introduction to the exhortation to wives to submit, framing marriage as an act of dual submission? The answer is ‘both’. I am not saying that Marianne supporting my work craziness is an act of submission; no, it is a mutual understanding and support of one another even when life gets overfilled as it often does.

It is important context because it means that our marriage is to reflect relationships we have in the church and that the humility involved in submission is to apply to both of us in the marriage, even as our functions are also discussed. The details of how that works will come in the following verses. Submission requires humility, which is a core tenant for believers. What this humility looks like is shown in the example of Jesus described in Philippians 2:5–11, where Jesus did not cling to his Godship, but emptied himself to take on the salvation of our souls in the place we were (dead in sin and without hope of justification), dying for us as sinners and serve people despite His position as the Creator of all things. Function is not focused on status or power, but on service. The reverence or respect for Christ that is to be joined in mutual submission points not only to regard for Jesus, but to an awareness of His example as our model.

Application:

My Christian-Walk as a follower of Jesus, is to have a sensitivity towards and empathy for others (most notably my family). My relationships are built on my ability to be aware of others. Service means being connected to the needs of others. So, there is a focus towards others that means that our attention is not on us but on them. That kind of mutual awareness ties us together and makes us a body of believers. It is better for me to look out for Marianne than for me to look out for myself. So, the submission to each other drives our relationships in the community where all follow the example of Christ, who served from the highest point of everything.

Today’s Psalm:

​ As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God? Psalms 42:1 & 2

...giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Ephesians 5:20 [ESV]

We now continue to the second piece of the atmosphere which supports the filling of the Holy Spirit. There is a gratitude that comes with focusing on who God is, what He has done and how He has graced us. So not only is praise and rejoicing present, but also a spirit that appreciates what God has done in giving us the honor of being his children.

Being here in Mexico this week was not only a reminder of the physical and material gratitude I should have but also for the gracious knowledge and understanding He has given me in handling some delicate situations that have come up while we have been here.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17 [ESV]

We live under God’s rule, and He works everything out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). This doesn’t mean everything that happens is good, but that over time, things WILL turn out exactly how God is intending for those of us who love and follow Him. Even tough times can be appreciated. We trust and are aware of our gratitude; truly understanding grace and how we access the Spirit through the cross makes us thankful, as does the honor of walking with and knowing God.

Those who realize how much God has done, even though we didn’t deserve it, develop gratitude. The size of our forgiven debt makes us grateful. There’s also a lot to be thankful for in the world God created. Even as we stand in front of these houses of people in poverty, we look out on the beautiful hillsides of God’s creation.

Application:

My thanks go to God the Father through Jesus Christ for His provision. Calling God “Father” demonstrates a close relationship, which is central to my faith. I am grateful to be part of God’s family, which involves the Father’s plan, the Son’s sacrifice, and the Spirit’s help, as this passage shows.

Today’s Psalm:

By this I know that you delight in me:
my enemy will not shout in triumph over me.
But you have upheld me because of my integrity,
and set me in your presence forever.

Psalms 41:11-12 [ESV]

…addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart
Ephesians 5:19 [ESV]

Last post was about the atmosphere that encourages and nurtures the space for the filling of the Holy Spirit. The first piece that Paul calls out is speaking to one another in worship and praise to God.

As I was doing the word study of this verse, I found that the English words chosen for the Greek original intent was pretty straightforward until I got to “making melody”. The Amplified interprets the end of this verse this way – “…offering praise with voices [and instruments] and making melody with all your heart to the Lord”. This feels closer to the Greek. The word used for melody is psallō. The root of this word is psaō which means, (to rub); to pull, twitch, twang, play, sing. So, not only does the command in this verse encourage each other and give praise to God, but I think it also means that it prepares our own hearts for what the Holy Spirit wants to do in and through us as we worship and sing.

When we do this corporately, we join that effect on our hearts together, and in turn this becomes an encouragement and blessing to all of us. Not that this is why we do it…for the sole audience for our worship should be the Lord alone, but this collateral blessing is the grace of God in His plan for biblical community.

Application:

The big take away I have today is that the worship I give should be unabated and for sure my heart must be in the correct posture of absolute humility and awe of an almighty Savior. When I do this, I play a divine part in the community of Believers as we extol our praise on the One Who has secured our future forever. One more thought – lately I have been responding to the ‘absolute glory’ of God in my worship of Him. When my mind and heart recognize my place in light of the Holy, Pure, and Just God that He is, I am brought into a direct focus of the God of my past, present, and future.

Today’s Psalm:

​Blessed is the one who considers the poor!
In the day of trouble the LORD delivers him;
the LORD protects him and keeps him alive;
he is called blessed in the land;
you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.

Psalms 41:1-2 [ESV]

...addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:19 [ESV]

I am posting my back posts for the week that I was in Mexico. With all of the activities and helping to manage all the gears and mechanicals of the week, I did not have time to post my quiet time thought but want to get them in.

What is awesome is that Ephesians has been so awesome for this trip. Today is no exception. For the next 3 days I am focusing on the 3 commands that create situations that can spur a spiritual response. Said another way, it is these kinds of situations that can encourage the heart to draw near to God. Those three commands are:

1. Addressing one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs
2. Gratitude in all situations and for everything
3. Submitting to one another

These are not the means by which we are filled with the Spirit. That is too mechanical a way to read into the passage; rather, Paul’s words are more likely about the kind of environment where access to the Spirit is encouraged. Paul is not giving us a formula that says that if you do these things in this way, spirituality will follow automatically. Spirituality requires an open heart and is not entirely dictated by outside circumstances. The list in this passage is repeated in Colossians [below].

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Colossians 3:16 [ESV]

Today’s Psalm:

But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you.
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer.
do not delay, O my God!

Psalms 40:16-17 [ESV]

Therefore, do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but ever be filled and stimulated with the [Holy] Spirit.
Ephesians 5:17-18 [AMP]

First day in Mexico! Today was a travel day that started at 3:45am at Canyon Hills and ended at 4:00pm in Ensenada, MX. We are here at Yugo and met the family that we are building the house for tonight. I will attach the videos of our activities as we progress through the week.

For today’s quiet time I am going to stick with the Amplified’s interpretation of these 2 verses as it best captures what appears to be Paul’s intent and exhortation. The ESV simply says, “Don’t be foolish” but the additions of vague and thoughtless capture lack of deliberateness in striving for God’s will in our lives. I think it also calls out distractedness as foolishness as well (thoughtless). Instead, Paul instructs s to ‘understand and firmly grasp’ what the will of the Lord is.

When we seek to understand the will of God in our lives, we “Enable” the Holy Spirit. This leads us to verse 18. The term used for debauchery, asōtia, refers to “something that leads to recklessness or wild living that brings nothing of value”. This is when we give ourselves permission to allow substances to change the way we behave and open the door to our sinful heart (which can lead to debauchery). The term “ever be filled” tells us that this is something that is done to us when we allow God to do it. This then ‘enables’ the Holy Spirit to become active in our heart and decisions.

Application:

The question that immediately came to mind when I read this is, “What things are keeping me from fully grasping God’s will and being stimulated by His Holy Spirit. Is it my desire for ‘things’? Is it a fear of man. Is it self-sufficiency? It is probably a little of all of these vices/idols. I am convicted in the possibility that I am missing out on things God has for me; ways He wants to use me. I must raise the importances of bringing these things before the Lord, asking Him to not only forgive me as I confess, but a commitment to turning from these things once and for all.

Today’s Psalm:

As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain
your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
ever preserve me!

Psalms 40:11 [ESV]

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:15-16 [ESV]

Last day before we leave! Tomorrow morning will be an early one and what I would affectionately call controlled chaos. Organizing and herding 45 Middle School Students for a trip to another county without their parents is quite the feat. Matt and Charity are amazing at what they do and it is always such a great time of growth for everyone involved.

The idea of taking care (or look carefully) suggests something that does not come naturally or instinctively, but a way of life that requires some concentration and deliberateness. The Christian life is a thoughtful, reflective life that takes the road less travelled. As in several other sections in this letter, the call is to walk, that is, to live, moment to moment in a certain way.

Part of the discernment of wisdom is the ability to see the opportunity and work through it, even though the situation or circumstances may be challenging. Living life in a setting filled with bad choices is not easy, especially when there are efforts all around to draw one into those bad choices. So, the call is to live wisely. What is required is a sensitive perception that has insight into God’s will in the face of circumstances that often are not the best. The assumption of this passage is that we cannot isolate ourselves from the world in a way that inoculates us from such choices. The text assumes engagement, but it is interaction made with careful choices.

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

Colossians 4:5 [ESV]

The verb that is translated to ‘making the best use of time’ is notably exagorazō which normally means ‘Redeeming’. It’s an economic term associated with purchasing. The idea of wisely redeeming the time looks at using the opportunities we have well, because the threat to do otherwise is significant. Taking advantage of time is the point.

So what does a wise walk look like? Besides being discerning, as Paul has already indicated in verse 10, the wise walk cashes in on opportunity by making the right decisions across time. It ‘snaps up every opportunity’. It steers clear of evil days, not by escaping, as that is not possible, but by living distinctively, showing the way of light. Fear is not necessary because believers have been given what they need and a model for how to live in such a dangerous context. Two examples come to mind: how Joseph handled his brothers’ betrayal in Genesis 37–50 and how Paul viewed and approached his imprisonment (Phil. 1:12–14). The call is to serve the world through good choices). As we will see, the Spirit has been provided to give us the enablement to do this.

Application:

The most impactful thing in this passage to me is the aspect of Redeeming every moment I am presented with choices and seeking God in His wisdom to navigate it and make the right decision. These are not just areas of potential sin or even work related. There is a constant and consistent wisdom here that is suggested. This almost eliminates a freewheeling life UNTIL something crazy happens and we are faced with a life decision…not at all. The is a way of live that is aligned with the new creation God has given us in our Salvation.

Today’s Psalm:

I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
from the great congregation.

Psalms 40:10

For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light.
Ephesians 5:12-14a [ESV]

Only 30 more hours or so before we head off to Mexico on our Middle School Missions trip. 85 of us are going! Sophie and I are super excited, but we are also a bit nervous about missing Marianne, Bella, Prim, and Brooklyn. We are all so close and love the time we have together. Even though all of us love and support going on the Mission Field, it is still hard to be away.

The Greek word aischros (shameful) describes behavior and actions that, when weighed morally, are unacceptable to speak about and which bring dishonor on those tied to them. That judgment may not be something that exists among those who practice these things, but it is how God sees it, and that is what matters for us as believers.

Ah, you who hide deep from the Lord your counsel,
whose deeds are in the dark,
and who say, “Who sees us? Who knows us?”

Isaiah 29:15 [ESV]

In Romans 13:13, Paul says, “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.” The things Paul calls out in Romans, I believe are the things that he is talking about here about ‘living in the light’. This activity is so shameful that it should be avoided and should not be attached to any follower of Jesus. As yesterday’s verse noted, these actions are not to be ignored but exposed, because they are damaging to people. It is the light that does the exposing. Paul states this Light as a principle of the activity of the Holy Spirit. Light reveals evil so it works to bring good. It also shows things for what they are, without any obscurity. With the exposure also comes the opportunity for a change in direction.

Application:

I have to ask myself – What in my life right now could be something considered ‘done in secret’? I am confident in saying that orgies, drunkenness (have not participated in alcoholic drinking in almost 10 years), sexual immorality, sensuality, or…wait a minute…I have quarreled and even coveted in secret. Paul calls these out as part of the list. The Greek word for ‘quarrelling’ is eris which can also mean strife. The word for jealousy is zēlos which can also mean fury or zeal. I will say that I have, in the quiet of my own mind harbored strife of over issues with another person or even jealousy over something someone else had that I did not. It is super convicting that these 2 things are counted alongside sexual immorality and drunkenness. Light being in all areas of the our personal house, is paramount to the godly life Paul is calling the Ephesians to in this short passage.

Today’s Psalm:

I said, “Behold, I have come;
in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
I delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.”

Psalms 40:7-8 [ESV]