19 Have you been supposing [all this time] that we have been defending ourselves and apologizing to you? [It is] in the sight and the [very] presence of God [and as one] in Christ (the Messiah) that we have been speaking, dearly beloved, and all in order to build you up [spiritually]. 20 For I am fearful that somehow or other I may come and find you not as I desire to find you, and that you may find me too not as you want to find me—that perhaps there may be factions (quarreling), jealousy, temper (wrath, intrigues, rivalry, divided loyalties), selfishness, whispering, gossip, arrogance (self-assertion), and disorder among you. 21 [I am fearful] that when I come again, my God may humiliate and humble me in your regard, and that I may have to sorrow over many of those who sinned before and have not repented of the impurity, sexual vice, and sensuality which they formerly practiced. 2 Corinthians 12:19-21 [AMP]
During my reading this morning and finishing chapter 12 of 2 Corinthians, I was internalizing this whole chapter being on Paul standing up for himself to the Corinthians and even being frustrated that he must do so. Reminder: What had been happening was that opponents to Paul’s ministry had come up within the Corinthian church and they were finding whatever they could to tear Paul down in the eyes of the rest of the church. They were questioning his motives, his lack of coming to them, and even his desire to not be a burden financially to them. So, this whole chapter Paul is regrettably boasting about his commissioning as an apostle and they should know his credentials speak for his heart and desire to build up the Corinthian church and not tear it down.
Here in these last 2 verses, Paul talks about his fear of coming to Corinth and finding that the church has backslidden into the sin they walked away from when he first came to start the church. In fact, Paul suggests that this degradation of one of his beloved church plants may be a situation God may use to humble Paul.
Application:
There are times where admonishment of fellow believers is needed and a deliberate questioning of motives and behavior is warranted for a church off the rails. In this case it was a church that Paul had been a part of planting but I am wondering what there is to learn here about admonishing churches who are deliberately going about teaching that is outside of God’s word. What you don’t see Paul doing is going out and speaking against the Corinthian church and its leadership in the outside world and community. It is directed right at the church and to those who are factious, jealous, gossipy, arrogant, and going about to create disorder.