Month: July 2024

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Ephesians 6:1-3

We now move onto how children should obey their parents. What I think is beautiful about this passage is that it doesn’t have a timeframe associated with it. I am to follow this as a child of my parents with the exception of “leaving and cleaving” in my covenantal marriage to my wife. Colossians 3:20 has a similar exhortation.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

All throughout the end of chapter 5 and now here in chapter 6, Paul’s ultimate call is for us to do these things because “it pleases the Lord”. The life experiences of our parents and their wisdom continue to help and impact us long into adulthood. I respect my parent’s opinions so much and I reach out to them for those opinions regularly. Now long into my age of account ability, I am responsible to the Lord for the decisions I make, but my thoughtful evaluation of their input has proven to be so beneficial.

Notice that Paul does not give the parents ammo to lord over our children here; it is a call specifically to the children to obey. It would not be honoring to the Lord for me to constantly remind my children of the command; but in our raising up of our family “in the ways of the Lord” will of course cover these aspects of God’s Word; it just shouldn’t be weaponized against them.

We have to assume that children (both boys and girls) were present when Paul’s letter was read to the Ephesian church. They would have been old enough to understand the concept of obeying and something they could embrace. Likewise, for those children who are not of an age to completely consume what is being said requires parents to understand the need for grace in regard to infants and toddlers who are learning what it means to be obedient and respectful of their parents.

The phrase “in the Lord” in Ephesians 6:1 simply means that children should obey their parents as part of their duty to God. It does not imply infant baptism or that children are full members of the community. The focus is on the relationship between children and their parents, emphasizing obedience because these are the parents given to them by the Lord. The term “in the Lord” refers to the verb “obey.” The verb “timaō” means to honor or respect someone. In this verse, it suggests a continuous attitude of respect, not just simple obedience. It means having a deep, personal regard for parents. This command is common in the New Testament and is a key part of Jewish culture.

This commandment is the first of the Ten Commandments that comes with a promise. It promises a long life in the land for those who obey it. This is important because it shows how we should treat others, while the first four commandments focus on our relationship with God. Paul expands this promise to mean a long life on earth for everyone, not just the Israelites. However, this promise isn’t guaranteed, as other factors can affect one’s lifespan. The main idea is that respecting parents leads to a peaceful and long life.

Application:

I need to be careful in my home of thrusting this into the faces of my kids (especially when I am frustrated). This danger will become clearer in verse 4 tomorrow. Our little ones are precious gifts to us from God and although He has this command to them, it does not alleviate my responsibility to honor Him in my love and raising of them.

Today’s Psalm:

​ My heart overflows with a pleasing theme;
I address my verses to the king;
my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe.
Psalms 45:1

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32

Yesterday I left off on Paul talking about how our marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the body of the church. I was making the assertion that Paul might be saying that ‘our marriage’, in itself, is a member of the church body. Well, these next 2 verses continue to reinforce that.

Through verse 31 (Genesis 2:24), God breaks the act of marriage into three parts. First, it shows a man forming a new family unit by leaving his parents, which in ancient times was more about care and oversight than physical location. Next, it describes the man joining his wife, symbolizing the new family unit. Finally, it talks about becoming one flesh, highlighting the unique union that sex creates when a man and woman come together. BUT, God is saying that it is more than this and follows up verse 31 with what that it is. It is a mystery how this oneness can be true. It’s almost like Paul is wrestling with how to describe something indescribable.

The mystery is this aspect of oneness about marriage, but it is connected to the greater mystery of Christ’s relationship and the church. Christ is the God Son of the trinity, yet He is God. When I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, I became one with Him and He with me. When God the Father looks at me, He sees the spotlessness of His Son. When I look at what happens when a group of believers comes together in the name of the Son, we see the hand of God move in powerful ways. What Paul is saying is that marriage is like this great mystery of the church’s relationship with Christ.

The Mystery is that there are aspects of Christ’s relationship with the church, and the connectedness we have with our wives that are unseen and our feeble human brains can’t see the who picture of how profound this mystery is. This is why sex within marriage is the only acceptable place for sexual intimacy to happen. The act of a sexual union bonds us to our spouse in ways that are not entirely understood by us. It is why God designed it this way.

Application:

I need to keep pursuing how God would use my marriage and oneness with Marianne for the work of His Kingdom through ministry and service to Him. One of the ways we are doing that now is by pursuing all the knowledge we can to counsel others toward the answers in God’s word. We have completed both the Foundations and Observation classes and are in the middle of working through the Theology of Biblical Counseling. I know that God has so much more for us.

Today’s Psalm:

All this has come upon us,
though we have not forgotten you,
and we have not been false to your covenant.
Our heart has not turned back,
nor have our steps departed from your way
Psalms 44:17-18

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 
Ephesians 5:28-30

Different than what wives called to do in submission, the ‘should’ in verse 28 is more of a call of obligation. “Husbands SHOULD love their wives”. The comparison with Christ’s model deepens the obligation: in doing this, they do it like and for him. It is a form of worship to live this way. The connection to Jesus enforces the point. This is the same thought that God uses in Leviticus when describing how we should love our neighbor…our wives being our closest neighbors.

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
Leviticus 19:18

Paul’s message is about love and care in marriage, not about control. He stresses that a wife is part of her husband, so marriage shouldn’t be a power struggle. Both partners are responsible to God for their actions in the marriage. The husband should love his wife because it’s his duty to God, and the wife should submit because it’s her duty to God. This means they should work together and aim for harmony, even if they don’t always agree. When I listen to Marianne, it’s like listening to a part of myself and maybe even hearing God through her. The idea is that we’re a team, working together as one. This isn’t about loving yourself, but about giving love for something bigger than just you. This shows my wife is equal to me, not lower, and is a part of me.

Seeing Marianne as part of my identity affects all aspects of our relationship. This makes marriage special. The phrase “not hating” means there shouldn’t be any alienation or hostility in our life together. The term “nourishes” (ektrephō) means nurturing, like raising a child. The term “cherishes” (thalpō) means giving comfort or warmth. This is the kind of care Jesus showed, not just by sacrificing himself to cleanse the church, but also by continuing to care for it.

Application:

The biggest take away I have from this is that we normally think of ourselves (husbands and wives) as members of Body of Christ…but here it says ‘we’ are members of the church body. What if, as the head of my marriage, saw our marriage oneness as a member of the Body of Christ? Now not only am I thinking about how I think and act as Christ living in me and I in Him but now I relate to how ‘we’ think, act, and behave as a member of the church body. The more I think about this the more I feel that this is Paul’s intent on connecting the Body of Christ and the ‘Oneness’ of our marital covenant.

Today’s Psalm:

In God we have boasted continually,
and we will give thanks to your name forever.
Psalms 44:8