In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:28-30
Different than what wives called to do in submission, the ‘should’ in verse 28 is more of a call of obligation. “Husbands SHOULD love their wives”. The comparison with Christ’s model deepens the obligation: in doing this, they do it like and for him. It is a form of worship to live this way. The connection to Jesus enforces the point. This is the same thought that God uses in Leviticus when describing how we should love our neighbor…our wives being our closest neighbors.
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
Leviticus 19:18
Paul’s message is about love and care in marriage, not about control. He stresses that a wife is part of her husband, so marriage shouldn’t be a power struggle. Both partners are responsible to God for their actions in the marriage. The husband should love his wife because it’s his duty to God, and the wife should submit because it’s her duty to God. This means they should work together and aim for harmony, even if they don’t always agree. When I listen to Marianne, it’s like listening to a part of myself and maybe even hearing God through her. The idea is that we’re a team, working together as one. This isn’t about loving yourself, but about giving love for something bigger than just you. This shows my wife is equal to me, not lower, and is a part of me.
Seeing Marianne as part of my identity affects all aspects of our relationship. This makes marriage special. The phrase “not hating” means there shouldn’t be any alienation or hostility in our life together. The term “nourishes” (ektrephō) means nurturing, like raising a child. The term “cherishes” (thalpō) means giving comfort or warmth. This is the kind of care Jesus showed, not just by sacrificing himself to cleanse the church, but also by continuing to care for it.
Application:
The biggest take away I have from this is that we normally think of ourselves (husbands and wives) as members of Body of Christ…but here it says ‘we’ are members of the church body. What if, as the head of my marriage, saw our marriage oneness as a member of the Body of Christ? Now not only am I thinking about how I think and act as Christ living in me and I in Him but now I relate to how ‘we’ think, act, and behave as a member of the church body. The more I think about this the more I feel that this is Paul’s intent on connecting the Body of Christ and the ‘Oneness’ of our marital covenant.
Today’s Psalm:
In God we have boasted continually,
and we will give thanks to your name forever.
Psalms 44:8